After browsing through crafters', strangers' blog, BMX racing and so on, I kept viewing this video on youtube.
I'm reading Anthony Burgess' "A Clockwork Orange", then I found this quote:
"Weak tea are we, new brewed. But stirring make all strong"
Probably stirring is all I need, to get all my stupid questions away.
Does anyone know how big our heart is to keep all those feelings or it's just our brain who keep it all the way?